Who would you refer to as your friends? Is it the person who spends the most time with you? Or the person who’s always there in times of difficulty? Is that a real good definition of a friend or only a construed significance of what a true friend ought to be?
We could look up the meaning in a dictionary, but anyone could do that. And that won’t change the response you’ve got inside your own ideas. What do you truly feel a true friend is, what do you think yourself a true friend to be.
Reason why I bring this up because, someone I once thought to be a great friend of mine, when I actually paid close attention also, was not a very good friend to me. My definition of a friend is someone who has similar views and beliefs near your own. Someone you can relate to and who you believe understands how you feel.
To further elaborate on this, a friend should be a give-and-take type of relationship, rather than solely giving or taking, but it has to be equal on both sides of the spectrum. Without this balance someone has been taken advantage of, in which regrettably a lot of error a friendship to be and believe that is how it should be.
Additionally a friend should be one to encourage and support a friend’s decision, if they know and believe in their buddy’s choice. There will be times where friends will disagree, which is okay, everyone has the right to choose for themselves. But to still believe in them, even though they do not particular care for the cause, is what a friendship is all about.
In my situation I had a friend, let’s name him Bob to secure his name here. Whom was going through some tough times, his girlfriend at the time of 3 years wasn’t treating him like crap, little did I know he had been contributing too, but I felt bad for him and befriended him and helped him out. I let him stay with us and my family when he finally decided to leave her and stood him up. We talked and got to know each other better, and became decent friends, or so I believed. I soon found out how much of friend he was when he came in to live with us.
At first things seemed great, our agreement was for him to get back on his feet and get a place of his own. I know he had to recoup some funds from his Bat Guano prior to getting a place so I knew it might be a few months or so before he could make some substantial steps forward. A few months passed and it seemed like nothing more had happened, he had been making himself at home, and not much progress on trying to proceed. Started making him pay rent to help things speed along, and cover his expenses he’s accrued while in our household.
And this whole time, we were farther from being connected than when we were not in exactly the same household. Come to find out he has been spending his time building another relationship after he emerged from the one he’s been in. Wanted the best for him, but advised it might not be the right time to start starting another relationship.
So fast forward, and now Bob and his new girlfriend were living with us!!! I don’t understand how it came about, but it did. When you believe you are friends you are sometimes blinded for their manipulated ways. Although it was short before they got their own place together it still happened.
To bring you to the present, Bob and his new woman, who I will call Bertha, broke up, and took all of his stuff. Even though I cautioned him about the connection to begin with, I still was there for him. Now to back track a bit I got involved with my own company and brought him along too, because I knew it might help him as it has helped us. To be involved with my business and spend some more time with family, I felt it was time to change jobs, I told Bob this and he said I was crazy and that my business will fail me.
Now I know that it seems as if I’ve drifted far from class here on whom our real friends are, but this example explains more than any words I could write, through personal experience. At this time I realized he wasn’t my friend, because he didn’t support me, but more importantly he didn’t believe he would ever escape the 9 to 5 rat race they most people believe is the only option. I didn’t realize just how much of a friend he wasn’t until I myself began to grow personally.
I say all this to say, our friends are the ones who beliefs levels match up, and that they are not constantly taking, but giving and sharing. A person who believes in you for better, and has achieved it their selves, and gives you advice to be successful too. One that can help you understand your full potential and help you understand you can have everything you desire.
Although I do not know you, or may never meet you, I believe in you. If you are looking for a way to do that for yourself than I’ll be more than happy to assist you get there. Or if you are already on your way, keep going. The only way you will ever fail is if you quit.